Funny Dog Cake Topper "Ich schwöre! Nicht geleckt!" with Ice Fountain Holder

Details

A beige cartoon puppy sits on the base bar, tail up, big eyes, pink tongue hanging out. Beside it, on a black plaque in white brush lettering: ICH SCHWÖRE! NICHT GELECKT! — German for "I swear! I didn't lick it!", the line everyone reaches for when the cake has a suspicious dent before anyone has cut it. It works on any birthday cake: for dog people first of all, but just as well for the colleague who always samples the edge, or the child who insists they were only looking.

Behind the dog, moulded into the base, sits a socket. It takes a standard upright cake fountain — the cone or cylinder sold as an ice fountain, the sort that throws its sparks straight up — and holds it steady while it burns, so it cannot lean over or sink into the buttercream.

• The fountain is not included and we do not sell fireworks; party shops and firework shops stock them.
• Only that upright type belongs in the socket, never a thin handheld sparkler. An adult lights it, follows the instructions on the packaging, keeps children well back and stays with it until it is out and cool.

There is no name and no number on it, which is exactly what makes it practical: the joke is true every year and for every birthday person. Wipe it down once the cake is cut, put it in the drawer, and it stands on the next cake — or it does the rounds of your friends, where it gets the same laugh.

Each topper is 3D printed to order in PLA, a rigid plant-based plastic, in our studio in Spain, then hand-finished. It arrives exactly as photographed — beige dog with a black outline, black plaque, white lettering — so there is nothing to choose. It is about 15 cm (6 in) wide on a flat base bar, which sits on a cake from roughly 18 cm across without overhanging, or stands on the party table beside a smaller one.

It is not edible, so it lifts off before the first slice. The white lettering on the closed black plaque stays readable in the phone photo taken from the far end of the table — and with this line, that is half the joke.